His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
