I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
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