I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Randomize
