You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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