Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
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