Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize