How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
