when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Randomize
