I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
honey bunches of taint.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
