You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Randomize
