I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
i think i scared a bird with my dick
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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