I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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