why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
