Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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