My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
