Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
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