I wish life had little blips of pornography
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
so let's talk penis.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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