Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
