You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
