fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I use my feet as sexual weapons
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize