actually, I'm a sock model
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
