I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize