Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
love makes seman taste better
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
