i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
