You really coming over, don't trick.
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
