I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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