so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
