Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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