It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
