just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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