she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
