Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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