We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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