thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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