you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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