Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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