she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
