Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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