I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
