Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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