I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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