If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
