who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Randomize
