just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Randomize