Don't you send me to vm
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
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