Heybabeimwearingurpanties
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
