Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Randomize
