I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
tell me about the fingering
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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