a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
