Just took my morning after pill in the library
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Randomize
