spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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