pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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