He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
