she was so not down for the gang bang
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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