someone threw a dead crab at me
Sponge bath it is.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
