Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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