When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize