Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
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