the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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