he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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