the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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