need another drink. this is the easiest way
Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
