where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
This girl is more easily done than said...
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
You may now shotgun with the bride
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
