am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
