i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Your dad touched me again.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
