I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
