ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I am naked and annoyed.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
